Navigating Relationships and Dating in Nigeria as an Expat
I met Funmi at a mutual friend's birthday party in Victoria Island during my second month in Lagos. She was smart, funny, and beautifully Nigerian in that effortless way that made me feel like the luckiest expat in the room. We talked for hours, exchanged numbers, and I walked home convinced I'd cracked the code to Nigerian romance. Three weeks later, I was confused, slightly bruised, and genuinely wondering if I'd accidentally violated some cultural law I didn't know existed. She'd introduced me to her friends, cooked me dinner, and then—when I suggested we "make things official"—looked at me like I'd just asked to borrow her passport. "What's the rush?" she asked. "We're just getting to know each other." In my world, three weeks of near-daily contact meant something. In hers, it meant we'd barely started. That experience—and the many that followed—taught me that dating in Nigeria operates on different assumptions, ...